When you are a mom of multiples you quickly realize you're going to get a lot of attention. Nothing raises people's interest faster than a gigantic stroller and some adorable babies.
There's two ways you can go with it... you can feel like a freak show. You can avert your eyes and hope people don't notice you (hah! good luck with that). You can let people's comments and idiotic questions bother you (and trust me, there will be many many stupid questions). You can feel burdened by the curiosity and the fact that it now takes twice as long to do everything because everyone and their mother wants to stop and ooh and ahh over your babies.
Or you enjoy it. Take it as a compliment, see it as people generally being kind and love that they see your children as adorable and wonderful. I have definitely learned to be more friendly with strangers, and really enjoy getting a chance to just talk to people. My girls have ALWAYS loved the attention and now if we go out and no one is telling them how cute they are, they get an attitude. Yes, I've heard a lot of stupid comments and answered many, many idiotic questions but for the most part, I never let it bother me.
You will get asked the same questions over and over....
Are they a boy and a girl? (Now that the girls are older we don't get this as much but when they were little EVERYONE thought they were boy/girl... despite always being dressed very girly. People seem to assume twins are one of each. A man actually argued with me that I had Katie dressed like a boy because she was in YELLOW... a yellow flowered outfit with big yellow bow that is.)
Who was born first? (What does it matter? I never understand this question though I will say most people who ask guess Charlotte and they're right so I guess it means something.)
Who's the happy one? Good one? Which one's the bossy one? (Now, would you go up to a woman with two different aged children and ask, who's the good one? No. I always say oh they're both good/happy, etc.)
Typical comments: Wow! You sure have your hands full! God bless you!! They must keep you busy! Bet you're tired! and the ones I've love.... You're so blessed. You must have so much fun. You are so lucky!
Every now and then though, someone says something that just sticks... bothers me. In general I let 99% of things roll off my back. But there have been a few.
The people who recently referred to Charlotte as 'the chubby one." Oh NO. No no. Don't start that.
The lady who had her single baby in her stroller, looked at me walking by with my girls, pointed and yelled "OH MY GOD!! Thank god not me!" I said, I thank god it's not you too.
The cashier who asked me which one was the 'mean' one... I said, that's an awful question!! Neither! They're sweet babies!! Crazy!
The woman who when I said the girls were surviving triplets, their brother had died told me "Oh, we've all lost one.... I had a miscarriage when I was young. You get over it."
Recently being told that at least I had 'two out of three' of my triplets, and I should be happy with that.
I'm the same way with this blog. I have always ignored the (honestly very few) negative comments I've received. But I got a note on my last post that really has bothered me, to the point of tears. It bothers me because I hope no one else read that post and got the same impression as the person who left the comment.
I think I forget this blog is just a small window into a tiny fraction of my life. Maybe you had to know me, know who I was before my husband, before my babies, know how I grew up to understand what I was trying to say. Maybe it didn't come across right if you didn't know everything about me.
I could never, never, ever hate my girls. I never in any way meant to infer they were ever 'less than' - they are everything to me, more than I ever dreamed. I love them more than anything in the world. I wanted them just as much as I wanted Jack. I will love them at 3, 13, 23, whatever age, forever. I will love them the same if they are angelic children or terrible 12 year olds or delinquent teenagers or anything in between. I am not assuming they are going to be a burden as teens or any age - they will never be a burden and I know they are going to grow up to be amazing women. I was being honest about my dreams of my triplets, my little day dreams of how life would be with them....
I am going to try and be the best mom to my children that I can be always, forever.
(And thank you SO MUCH for all the votes... we came in third!! The girls and I are thrilled. :)