Sunday, May 10, 2009

Being a Mom

(PLEASE… Monday is the last day to vote for Katie and Charlotte in the Cutest Multiples Contest….PLEASE!! It's really close and very exciting! Thank you so so much. Click HERE and vote for #2!! http://www.multiplesandmore.blogspot.com/ )

I thought of so many other moms today, many I've never even met in real life. Other moms with children who have died. Mother’s Day can be a day of such joy and such sadness, all at the same time. My heart goes out to all the mom’s who struggled today, and every day.

When I was growing up, even in to my late teens and early 20s, I would tell everyone that I only wanted sons… no daughters. I would actually joke that I wanted SIX sons, and I was going to tell them all that girls are dirty and no woman would ever love them like their mother, but that’s a whole other issue….. Looking back I realize my desire for all these sons to love, and love me, says so much about me and who I was, and how difficult my relationship was with my own mother at the time.

I had long outgrown that crazy dream by the time I found myself pregnant with triplets, and desperately hoped we would have a little girl in the mix along with my forever dreamed of boy.

I still look at my two beautiful girls in disbelief almost every day. I have to tell myself “These are YOUR daughters!! These amazing gorgeous perfect little girls are yours!” With their curly blond hair and bright blue eyes, their silly laughs and funny personalities, I say it all the time but they are just JOY in chubby little (very loud) packages. It feels like something you really wanted but were scared to ever even hope for came true, and sometimes you still don’t quite believe it. And the bigger they get, the more they become real little people, I feel even more in awe of them. I feel so honored to be their mother. I could not love them more.

I always dreamed of a boy though, and dreamed of a Jack. From the moment we found out the genders of the triplets, Jack became in my mind my mama’s boy. I felt him kick, felt him move so much more than the girls. I felt like it was me and Jack, like he would be “my” baby… the one who always thought mom was perfect, the one who would be the buffer between two crazy girls… the one who in the terrible, terrible years of teenage girldom that I am already afraid of (because as my own amazing mom will tell you, those years were rough…so rough), would tell Katie and Charlotte to ease up on mom, she’s not so bad. The girls were so hard for me to wrap my brain around – and not one, but TWO!! But not Jack….Jack was so real to me. I had known Jack in my heart and my dreams and my mind forever. He was so much a part of me long before he was even born. And he still is.

I love being a mom.

I love being Charlotte, Katie and Jack’s mom.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a great Mom to your beautiful triplets. Hope you had a great Mother's Day.
An admirer from the Jersey shore

Linda said...

Hugs Megan. Happy Mother's Day.

talentedmom said...

"It feels like something you really wanted but were scared to ever even hope for came true, and sometimes you still don’t quite believe it."

so true, Happy Mother's Day

monica said...

Happy Mothers Day!

Anonymous said...

Another post that left me with tears in my eyes..beautiful sentiments...
Hope you had an amazing Mother's Day!

BenLand said...

beautiful words....

happy mother's day.

Emily said...

Beautiful post from a beautful mommy...

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

I know your sweet angel was with his family today...

Anonymous said...

The girls are so adorable. I LOVE the picture! I hope you had a Happy Mother's Day!

Jessica "Dibs"

Elizabeth said...

I just checked on the contest.. CONGRATULATIONS on 3rd place!!! Happy belated Mothers Day to one of the bravest Mom's out there!

Anonymous said...

Hello. I was Searching google on what cankles look like (of all things) and came across your blog. I wanted you to know, I read every word and was suddenly enthralled with your story. You seem like a strong AMAZING woman. thank you for a blessing in disguise. Your story made my day. I will say a prayer for your family. They and you seem wonderful.
~Brooke From Alaska

Anonymous said...

I've read your blog for quite some time now, and I have to say I was really disappointed with this post. What is up with women hating their daughters? Why would you just assume they're going to be horrible? Society is constantly telling us that boys are better, and you're totally buying into that. I'm not trying to make this a rude or horrible response to your post. But I hope that you continue to think about how you treat your girls and how that may affect their actions. They've got the whole world telling them they're lesser, the last thing they need is their mother expecting them to be a burden.

genalion said...

OK, I need to step in here

I don't know Megan. I am a friend of a friend.... and simply read her posts

Anonymous: Your comment is harsh.... especially for someone you don't know. You come across as someone who has bigger issues with society.... or perhaps issues regarding your own relationship with your mother. Whether this is true or not, this is how you come across

What Megan mentions about teenaged girls is not far from the truth one bit.....

I, myself was a disaster of a teenager and have no trouble admitting it. I would always joke of having boys, too.... as a snotty teenaged girl's way of telling my mother that I hated my relationship with her

And then things changed. I went away to college and suddenly, I appreciated my Mom and we became best friends. I tell this to every mother of teenaged girls I know. I tell them to just hang in there and to keep their eye on the prize. With a little independence, we all come back

I also wanted boys for what I thought would be unconditional love from a male. Very, very common to feel this way...... Very, very UNcommon to hear someone admit it......

I understand your point, but in NO WAY did Megan say anything about hating her daughters..... and I resent the implication

Shame on you for going on her post and bad-mouthing her. If you have Mother/Daughter issues, I suggest you go call your mother to discuss them

Susie Korbel said...

Hon I have no idea how anyone could get that impression from your post. We all know you love Katie and Charlotte... we also know that there is a hole in your heart for Jack.

Don't take it to heart- sounds like Anonymous was just ranting about something she read elsewhere and extrapolated it to your blog.

Megan Malia said...

'Anonymous' is just that: A no one. If you ever had the courage to say who you were, then you can contact me. I am Megan’s sister in law. You can contact me. My name is also Megan Malia. Who do you even think you are, thinking you have the right to come on Megan’s blog and leave a comment like that? YOU have no idea who my family is or what we have been through. You have no idea about my sister in law and the amazing mother she is---And how she adores her little girls. Megan is an immensely creative person who has this blog as an outlet in her life. She has more courage than most letting all of you in on her and her family’s life. And I think that is awesome. This is a website of love, human emotion, and laughter. This is my family!!!! And my nieces…you are obviously lacking in couth and class to even leave a comment such as this. If you want voice your ignorant comments…then go elsewhere. You are not wanted here.

Meg, I am sorry, but I could not just sit here and not say anything. You know you are an amazing person you are and the mom everyone wants to have. You are the best sister in law I could have ever asked for. I hope you never let anyone’s ignorance get the best of you. I know you won't.

To everyone else; all of Megan’s friend and faithful readers and well wishers……thank you for always supporting Megan and my family.

Franco*Filly (Jess) said...

Holy.crap. I can't believe trolls troll even blogs. Wonderful, beautiful blogs about family life and the troubles and absolute TORTURE they have to go through to get through life. Anonymous: did you ever once think that maybe Megan goes through something different than most other moms? Can't she even vent one day? Or does she have to be the perfect mom of multiples, who has all of her sh@t together and is perfect in every way? I know Megan and I know how devoted and in LOVE with her girls she is. She loves ALL of her children. Your comment pretty much blows. I am all for difference of opinion and the right to say what you want, but why would you write such a hurtful thing? It's just MEAN. Brush it off Megan!!!

Casie, Jack's mom said...

To the rude comment: If you don't like what you read and you are *SO* offended, the solution is simple--stop reading the blog. Do us all a favor and don't ever come back. Spend the time working out your own issues. Oh, and I hope you have the WILDEST teenage girls ever who you still adore and love. Then you will see what Megan was saying.

Browneyedgrl said...

I can not believe that idiot wrote that. how can you even say something like that? She did not say she hates her daughters. She loves ALL her children equally! ALL THREE OF THEM!

Liz said...

Anonymous you are a nut ball! I have been reading Megan's blog for over a year now and I have nothing but the utmost respect for her. Where do you get off writing such a nasty comment?

Gillian said...

All you have to do is look at the happiness on those girls' faces to know that Megan is a wonderful mother. Her children are LOVED. ALL of them.

Take your issues elsewhere, Anonymous.. they are not welcome here.

kamahiclan said...

Anon-Just wondering what society you are living in? I have never been given the message that I am lesser because I am a woman. Or that boys are better. Are you kidding me?

And in no way did this post give me the impression that Megan is expecting her girls to be "burdens."

You should keep your skewed views to yourself.