Monday, November 3, 2008

K&C Day

One year ago today, November 3, 2007, Charlotte and Katie came home from the NICU.

It was honestly without a doubt the most terrifying day of my entire life.

I couldn't believe that the hospital was letting us take home these tiny, not even four pound babies. One with a freaking heart monitor. Did they know us? Had they met us? I had no clue what I was doing. None.

PJ drove literally 20 miles per hour the entire way home, and I sat in the third row seat in the van so I could 'watch' the girls (what I thought they were going to do, I have no idea). We brought them inside, sat them on the floor in their car seats, and stared at them for a good hour. I kept saying "Well, what are we supposed to do with them now?"

I remember worrying, where do you keep a baby? Like say, if you're not holding them, and they're not sleeping, what do you do with them? And what do you dress them in? They had so many clothes, and yet no where to go.... so why dress them up? But was it okay to keep them in pajamas all day? Did they need an undershirt all the time? How did you know?

We figured it out. Those first couple months were a sleepless blur of feedings every three hours (preemie moms know, you don't mess with feedings, don't skip one, don't sleep through one, they're like clockwork), pumping milk, and running back and forth to see Jack. I honestly barely remember most of it.

The thing I do remember is the late nights with the girls. The three of us slept downstair for three months, them in the pack and play (or swing... or car seat... or boppy...) and me on the couch. At 2am it was time to eat, and while I fed one baby, I would sing Christmas carols to the other to keep her from crying. These babies are the only people in the world who stop (rather than start) crying when I sing.

I loved them so much, of course, but it was so stressful and hard and tiring and I was so worried about Jack, and honestly, they scared the crap out of me. They were like little ticking time bombs who could go off at any moment, for no good reason, and no amount of rocking, begging, pleading, feeding or cold hard cash would calm them down.

Now, they're not so scary. I think I've got them pretty figured out, for now any way - I know new problems lurk right around the Terrible Two corner. And I love them more and more and more. They are the smartest, cutest, happiest, most wonderful girls in the world. Well, I think so anyway. They're my heart, my joy, my best friends.

Here's to the next year... I just hope they slow down a little. It's all going way, way too fast for me.

18 comments:

Christi said...

wow! amazing how much they've grown. They are gorgeous, it's clear you have done an AMAZING job over the past year.

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

Oh yes, I remember my similar moment. Mine we just over 5 lbs when I brought them home, and J and I had no idea what to do with them! 1 year! yay!

Abbie said...

Oh wow! What a difference a year makes!

kimca01 said...

Aww, how tiny and cute!! Both my kids were huge (9lbs 2 oz and 9lbs 7 oz) so those tiny little ones would scare the crap out of me!

And don't worry about 2 - 2 is actually a breeze. It's THREE you need to be very, very afraid of LOL

monica said...

They have grown a little bit - You have done an amazing job!

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Awww. Your account brought a tear to my eye. It's amazing how far you've all come in a year! Lots of heartache, highs and lows...but just look at those healthy, happy gorgeous girls! I think that is part of the beauty of motherhood: sometimes we CAN'T stop and relect IN the moment...it would just be too much to handle. But when you reflect afterwards, it is bittersweet. Hugs!

rachael said...

happy k&c day! do you anything special planned?

Sarah said...

I laughed out loud reading your post...I'm still unresolved on whether it was OK for me to leave my daughter in her pajamas all day long!
Happy Anniversary.

Randi said...

You have done a wonderful job- I remember singing Christmas carols to my boys when they were little and screaming.
Randi

Randi said...

I felt the same terror- the let Tony come home at 3lbs 13 ounces. Nate was a bit bigger, huge next to Tony at 5lbs 8 ounces- it is terrifying.

Rebecca Nixie said...

WOW, what an amazing year you've had. Tears, laughs, smiles and more tears!! You've done well Megan. You've done really well!! Be proud of yourself, PJ, your girls, your Jack...your babies.

Amanda in Kentucky said...

So I just read your entire blog in that last day and a half (I was supposed to be working!) I got here from another blog, although I can't remember which.

Your story is amazing. Your babies are amazing. You are amazing (okay and PJ seems that way too!)

I just wanted to say hi and that I plan on keeping up with you and the girls. I love reading about their milestones and I especially love reading your rants!! I feel the same way sometimes!

-Amanda, mommy to Lindsey.

Our life is a bowl of Barry's said...

Amazing how quickly a year can pass and with it all the milestones reached and the ones to look forward to in the next year. My children are 9 (twins), 7, and 3(twins) and sadly, I feel like each year passes by with more momentum than the last. Cherish the days, as I'm sure you do. A year from now may only feel like 6 months! I think it has to do with our memory starting to fail us once we have kids :-)

Gillian said...

Wow! What a big moment! This has been a pretty monumental week, no?!

Linda said...

What a year. I remember when we brought the babies home we put them in their little seats and stared at them and I started to cry. I couldn't believe there were two little people in our house besides us! I remember all of those days well. I didn't sing christmas carols, but carpenters songs! lol

Anonymous said...

i just have to say, this entry made me laugh out loud...so funny. i felt exactly the same way when i brought home my boys. congratulations on making it through your first year!

Jennifer said...

well spoken on what its like to care for preemies!

Andi said...

Hi, I've read your blog here and there but never left a comment. I have twin two year old boys. I relate completely with your memories here. I thought every day that I didn't know what I was doing and I said out loud "I can't do this" at least 5 times a day. And like you, I think I've got mine pretty well figured out, for now.