Stay Forever

No, I didn't win any money. OF COURSE. Seriously, you will never meet anyone who has worse luck than I do. But we still had a very good time, it was nice to get away, and I did get some great stuff at the outlets. I missed my girls though.

I was so happy to get home and see them, and it felt so good to be back with my babies, but all that night I couldn't stop thinking of Jack. I miss Jack. I miss him more than I missed the girls for one measly night.... what do I do about that?? How do I make that better? WHEN do I get to hold my Jack again??

I've been trying to start a separate site for Jack and his Fund, now that there is finally some action going on with it, plans are slowly being made, ideas being formed. I WILL get to it, soon, I just haven't found the time. Maybe if I give up sleeping and/or showering I could find a few spare moments, but I'm selfish and just not ready to take that step yet. ;)

There are a couple things I've been wanting to write about for awhile and thought I would post on Jack's site, but since I haven't gotten it really up and running, I will write it here before I forget, because they're really important to me.

First there is the story of the Stroller. Many people already know part of this story. Last summer the NJ Nesties threw me the most amazing baby shower, and a ton of them chipped in and bought us the Peg Perego Triplette Stroller. It was one of a multitude of incredibly generous things these women have done for my family, and I was so so touched by it, and THRILLED with this beautiful stroller. PJ put it together almost immediately, and we kept it in our living room for months so nothing would happen to it.

After Jack died, I am serious when I say the stroller was one of the things that I really worried about. It had been such a beautiful, generous gift and now, what would we do with it?? The thought of it going to waste broke my heart, but we could never return it, we had no packaging, nothing, and Target is notoriously terrible for accepting returns. My aunt called Target and was lucky enough to get a really kind woman named Buffy on the phone who, after hearing our story, told my aunt they would take the stroller back and send us a Target gift card for the full amount. I couldn't believe it.

But then I worried, how would we package and mail this gigantic stroller? The next day I got an email from Buffy saying Target wanted to make this as easy on us as possible. We did NOT have to return the stroller, and they would still send us a $1,000+ gift card (which they did... and we have been using to buy many many boxes of diapers, bottles of Neosure and cute Carter's outfits). They said to donate the stroller to charity. Incredible!

Then the dilemma became, who to give this stroller to? It's harder to find the right recipient than you'd think. I wanted someone who would use it, needed it, didn't just want to sell it. My mom found a couple through a friend who had an 18 month old boy, and now were expecting twin boys. He was also a firefighter in a local town, and they could definitely use the stroller. It was so perfect. They came a few weekends ago and picked up the stroller, and while it was hard to see it go, it made me so happy that they would use it, and they seemed like a really nice family. So lucky to be having three healthy boys.

And one of their twins is going to be named Jack. So a little Jack will get to ride in that stroller after all.

Second story - a very nice woman named Jennifer and her son Evan, who read my blog, were really touched when I wrote about the gifts Jack received at CHoP on Christmas from a local charity. Evan, who is obviously one amazing kid, decided he wanted to do something like that for kids at his local hospital. They organized a Toy Drive and recently dropped off a TON of new toys at Winthrop Hospital for all the children there, including a big beautiful doll house and fire station for the playroom, all in memory of my Jack. Look at all these toys (and handsome Evan dropping them off at the hospital):



I tried to tell Jennifer and Evan how much this meant to us, but words aren't really adequate. The thought that this little boy did all this means so much to me, that he did it in Jack's memory. He is one of the many many people that are keeping my Jack alive. Thank you Jennifer and Evan, and everyone who helped you and contributed to your toy drive. Those gifts that were given to Jack on Christmas meant so much to us, I will never forget the feeling of walking in Christmas night and seeing those little wrapped gifts sitting by his crib, waiting for him, letting us know he hadn't spent Christmas alone. I know you've done the same for so many other families... you've let them know, they're not alone.

And finally, Kimberly, the mom of gorgeous triplet girls, sent me an email asking if her family could do their annual March of Dimes walk this year in memory of Jack and in honor of Katie and Charlotte. Did she really need to ask? Of course!! I am so honored she would want to do this for my family. Thank you Kimberly, and your whole family. PJ and I are really touched you are doing this.

So those are my stories of "Jack" - the closest I can get to updates about Jack, I guess. Thank God for these people though, who like I said, help to keep my Jack alive for me. Like our song says, where he can stay forever... and he will. We won't let him go.