Wednesday, September 12, 2007

It's Official

I'm a freaking FAT @SS.

I gained 8 pounds in two weeks. Actually, when I first got on the scale it said I had gained NINE pounds but I made the nurse weigh me again with my shoes off. I would have stripped naked if she'd let me but she didn't think it would make a big difference.

No one at my OB's office seemed upset about it - they told me again the babies are going through a big growth spurt right now. But that number was a hard pill to swallow. I have gained 51 pounds. 51 pounds. And I'm not even 29 weeks pregnant. WHERE WILL IT END?

Also, my uterus is measuring 40 weeks. So basically I'm as big as someone at full term with a single baby. And I could still be pregnant for another 7 weeks..... even my mom said she doesn't know how I'll be able to stand up, let alone walk. She kept insinuating at the mall on Sunday that I needed 'bigger' size fall maternity clothes and I got offended. Afer I told her about my weight this morning she said "Now do you see that you're in denial?" Thanks Mommy.

On daytime tv there's a ton of commercials aimed at senior citizens, and I find myself relating to ALL of them. The old lady who tells Ed McMahon her whole life is changed now that she has her motorized scooter? ED, I NEED A SCOOTER! The old man who can't get out of his bathtub and gets the fancy bath system with a door? I CAN'T GET MY BIG BEHIND OUT OF MY BATHTUB EITHER!

And let's not even go into the adult diapers thing.... let's just say being told the most important thing I can do right now is drink a lot of water to help prevent contractions, combined with three babies laying on my bladder, mixed with only one bathroom that I have to walk upstairs to get to, has led to some REALLY close calls.

I guess I just need to be happy that everything is fine, we're all healthy, babies are good, etc.

But I can't help but wonder, what is going to happen after the babies are born? There is NO way my stomach (which was borderline tragic before) will even go back to it's pre-PG ugliness. I'm going to be tripping on my own belly button. I'm going to be one of those people on Discovery Health Channel on the extreme plastic surgery shows, Trash Can of Skin or something like that, where I beg some doctor to remove my HUGE HANGING STOMACH.

(Did I mention I didn't fall asleep until 3am? I think maybe that goes without saying..... LOL. I was FINALLY able to finish Goblet of Fire last night though, and OMG, it was good. Best one yet, definitely. Poor Cedric. *sniff*)


The Hyperfertile Infertile said...

Sadly, after only having had twins before (but I WAS measuring 53 weeks pregnant with them when I delivered... I don't do tiny baby bumps), I can attest that you will indeed be tripping over your belly button. My stomach was already absolutely foul and is only going to be worse after a second round.

My advice is to spend the kids' college fund on some serious tummy tucking!