The hardest part of having a baby, to me, has always been sleep. Trying to get them to sleep, keeping them asleep and then functioning yourself without nearly enough sleep.
For awhile now my girls have been sleeping great. Going to bed fine, sleeping all night, sleeping until 7:30 or even 8am. Yep.
But about a month ago, Charlotte started having some issues and it’s been downhill with her ever since. She seems to be having a lot of nightmares, and after she has one she just will NOT go back to sleep. Or let me leave her room. Even the nights she doesn’t have a nightmare, she still is nervous and panicky and if she wakes up will be almost impossible to get back to sleep. When she is asleep, i can’t sleep, i lay in bed staring at her on the monitor, watching her like she’s a ticking time bomb, just waiting…. waiting…. waiting….
I’m tired. As I tell Charlotte every single night. Mommy is TIRED.
I am a disaster when I’m tired. I have no patience, i have no motivation, i have no nothing. Even my sense of humor seems to disappear. I’m starting to consider slipping some Benadryl into Lala’s nightly cup of milk. (Not really, of course. Okay maybe. No not really. Sort of.)
My gigantic kids are still in cribs, and Katie is still sleeping in hers fine, but we decided to try them in toddler beds and see if that helps. So this weekend, we’ll be setting them lose at night in their own little beds and seeing if that helps Charlotte. God help me. Seriously, God, please, help me. I’m dreading this.
I love the beds we bought them, but I am so sad to see the cribs go. It’s like the last piece of babyhood we have left. The last thing we once had three of. Those three white cribs, all lined up waiting for their tiny owners to come sleep in them. I can’t believe that part of our lives is over. It went so fast. I am absolutely crazy about my smart, funny, sweet almost three year olds. But I miss my babies, all three of them.