Today I have been married three years. It seems much longer, honestly... it feels like we've always been together. I think the last year could have easily torn us apart, but I feel like it has brought us closer together (not that we didn't have our moments.) I am so lucky to have a really wonderful husband, who is an even better dad.
Our wedding was PERFECT, seriously, it was a great day. I got to live out all my little girl dreams of the big poofy dress, the tiara and the handsome husband. I loved it.
Our anniversaries though, have generally been really really really TERRIBLE.
My brother got married the day before our First Anniversary, and while that was a great day and we had a really good time, it meant that on our anniversary we were really tired (okay and hungover) and did absolutely nothing. I ate our frozen wedding cake, we watched the DVD of our wedding ceremony and were both asleep by 10pm.
At my brother's wedding 11/24/06. We look so... worry free!! LOL
The day before our second anniversary was absolutely one of the worst if not the worst day of my life. It was the day Jack's breathing tube came out and they couldn't get it back in. It was the day we almost lost him and realized that eventually, we probably were going to lose him. It was a day that I still have nightmares about. I don't think we even realized the next day was our anniversary, we were still so numb.
11/25/07, Second Anniversary. Better than the day before, at least.
This year, the day before our anniversary, aka yesterday... my purse was stolen. My pretty little Coach bag with bank cards, credit cards, insurance cards, my driver's license, $100 in cash, $100 Visa Gift Card, all inside. Gone. I had it, I used it in the Gap, and then not 15 minutes later, when I went to leave, it was gone, out of my diaper bag.
It also had in it the St. Gerard Medal I've carried around for almost 2 years, through IVF, through a triplet pregnancy, through Jack's illness and death, through everything.
I know there was a Prayer Card from Jack's funeral in there too, as I always carry one. I hope whoever took it sees the card and feels something.... I don't even know what. Someone said I should pray for the person that stole it, they obviously need more help than I do, and they're right I guess. I hope whatever it was they needed so badly, they got it.
Today we did nothing - had tacos for dinner and watched The Biggest Loser. I did get beautiful flowers from my husband, and we are going out to dinner Saturday night. I just keep telling myself, nothing can be worse than last year. Even after my bag was stolen, while I was standing there waiting for the police to come with two crying hungry tired babies who wanted to go home, I kept saying, November 24th of last year was so much worse... it will be okay. When you've been to hell nothing else seems that bad.
Thank you to everyone for the HUGE response to Jack's Toy Drive! It is so exciting how many people have sent toys already from the Amazon Wishlist, posted it on their Facebook page, posted about it on their blogs..... thank you thank you, so much. This is what started it all for us, the Christmas Toys for Jack, this is what means the most to us. I know Evan's awesome toy drive inspired PJ's cousin to start this one and it just feels so perfect. I know Jack is watching, helping, and smiling.