Miss Charlotte and the pipers (and Mom):
Miss Katie and the pipers (and Daddy and Grandma):
After the parade my parents were nice enough to take the girls for awhile so we could enjoy some good old Irish fun. I stayed out with friends, and even had a few cocktails (Bailey's on the rocks, yum). It was really nice to get out, but the thing that surprised me the most was how much I missed the girls after only a few hours. Walking in my front door and seeing Charlotte in her jumpy look up at me and give me a big grin was the best part of my day.
Me and my best friend (trying to relive old times....):
St. Patrick's Day is big for us. Since I was little it's been a big deal, my mom used to take us to the parade in NYC, and PJ and I both love the parades around here (I've even marched in a few, back in the day when I was fun, before I became the library card carrying dull old lady I am now). We met on St. Patrick's day, if it weren't for Irish High Holy day, there would be no Katie, Charlotte or Jack. We were excited to bring our kids to the parades someday. But today, honestly, my heart wasn't totally in it. We both felt the absence of Jack a lot today. We miss him so much.
It's funny, I've had this song stuck in my head all day, I didn't hear it on the radio recently, I don't know where it came from. But there it is....
"I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try and hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near...."
It was a nice day, but a little bit sad too. Maybe that's the best we can hope for right now.
Me and my best friend (trying to relive old times....):
St. Patrick's Day is big for us. Since I was little it's been a big deal, my mom used to take us to the parade in NYC, and PJ and I both love the parades around here (I've even marched in a few, back in the day when I was fun, before I became the library card carrying dull old lady I am now). We met on St. Patrick's day, if it weren't for Irish High Holy day, there would be no Katie, Charlotte or Jack. We were excited to bring our kids to the parades someday. But today, honestly, my heart wasn't totally in it. We both felt the absence of Jack a lot today. We miss him so much.
It's funny, I've had this song stuck in my head all day, I didn't hear it on the radio recently, I don't know where it came from. But there it is....
"I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try and hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near...."
It was a nice day, but a little bit sad too. Maybe that's the best we can hope for right now.
17 comments:
Looks like fun though. So sorry that your heart is so heavy. Sometimes the world just doesn't make sense to me.
Looks like a beautiful day in NJ! I'm sorry that Jack could only be with you in spirit. That Macy Grey song gets me every time.
Noah&Zach'sMom (Multiples Board)
I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Glad you friend could be there to give you hugs and hopefully beer.
The girls looked very cute and you looked very Irish,in your sweater. I am so sorry for the heaviness you guys must feel. (((Hugs))).
May the road rise to meet you,
may the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And until you meet again, I'm confident that God is holding your little Jack in the palm of his hand.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
--A Mom in Jacksonville, FL
I found your blog via the nest awhile back, and have been following your story. I just wanted to say that ever since you posted the Alicia Keyes song, every time I hear it, I think of Jack and your family. Just heard it now - you are in my thoughts, and I will probably always think of your little Jack whenever I hear the song.
Song is Macy Gray "I Try"
My husband and I met on St Patrick's Day :) I dragged him to the NYC parade last year since it was on the weekend. Glad you guys were able to have a little bit of fun.
HI. I've been following your story for a while. I found your blog through another blog. I just wanted to tell you, you're an amazing person and have adorable children.
I just wanted to agree with Beth, I cannot hear that song without thinking of your little Jack and crying. Looks like you had a great day out...the girls are adorable!
Love that song and those words totally "fit" you and sweet Jack.
Loved the pictures, glad you got to go "out" and have some you time.
I'd love to see those cute Irish outfits under the snowsuits! My girls are part Irish, too, so I keep meaning to pick up a cute outfit for them to wear on the big day.
This year of firsts is bound to be difficult, and I'm sorry for that. All of the new things you want to show your children will be bittersweet for a long, long time (and perhaps forever)so, huges to you!! (((())))
The girls look like they enjoyed themselves, and you looked quite the Irish Lass in your sweater. Glad you got some time for yourself!
It looks like it was a beautiful day and the girls looked ADORABLE in their snowsuits. I'm glad to hear you were able to spend some time out with girlfriends, but I'm sure in so many ways it was still difficult without your precious Jack. I think of you often and pray for your family.
Happy St. Paddy's day to you, PJ and the girls!
I agree with gillian, the year of "firsts" is going to be the toughest part I think....not that I have any experience like yours to draw on. That Macy Gray song gets me everytime too, and I never even had anyone to link it to...from now on I will think of your sweet Jack, and I choose to think that he is watching over you and loving you, and that is what I will think of.
May you always have walls for the winds,a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire,laughter to cheer you, those you love near you,
and all your heart might desire.
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