Not only are my babies five months old, but yesterday was exactly one year since my egg transfer. They transferred three embryos, one of which became my sweet handsome Jack, and one that split (or so the doctors say) and became my two beautiful girls. It's so hard to believe those little tiny dots we have a fuzzy black and white picture of turned into these babies.
The whole IVF seems so long ago, just a blurry memory of pills and needles and early morning treks through the snow to look at my ovaries and have countless vials of blood taken. Afternoons spent impatiently waiting for phone calls, and nights spent praying and praying. I never stopped praying, saying the rosary, Novenas to St. Gerard, praying to get pregnant, stay pregnant..... I never could have imagined the things I really needed to be praying for. I remember the ultrasound where the doctor realized there were actually three babies, he told us that he felt strongly we would have at least one healthy baby. He meant Jack. The girls, with their thin thin membrane and shared placenta, were the ones everyone worried about.
So I guess in a way my babies are a year... they've been 'with' me since March 12, 2007.
I feel like the girls are on the brink of big changes. Every day it's something new. This morning we found both of them completely turned around and at the foot of their cribs, Charlotte on her back and Katie on her tummy. They talk talk talk, and laugh laugh laugh. They amaze me. Every new thing they do is so incredible, and still everything makes me think, Jack will never do that. Jack will never get any bigger. It feels like every day that the girls get bigger, Jack gets a little bit smaller. I look forward to every day with my girls, and at the same time it's one day further away from my baby boy.
Happy Five Months my babies!! A year ago I could never have imagined how much I would love you all.
Charlotte.... every day, I tell her, my whole life I dreamed of having a Charlotte. When I was a little girl I knew one day I would have a Charlotte. Before your Daddy and I were even married we said, if we have a little girl we will name her Charlotte and she will be beautiful and smart and lovely because how could she not be with that name? And you are better than anything I ever dreamed.
Miss Katie, she is my bonus, my reward. I hoped and hoped for a sweet, happy beautiful baby and she is all that and more. I tell her, you are the best Katie in the world. You are the missing piece I didn't even know I was missing, until I saw you. And you are better than anything I ever dreamed.
And Jack, my Jack, I knew my whole life too I wanted a Jack. I would tell him, I prayed and prayed to God to send me a Jack, and he sent me you. And I am so lucky. God knew the perfect Jack for me. And he was better than anything I ever dreamed.