People always ask me, what do you do when both babies cry, and I jokingly answer, I cry too. Tuesday, that's what I did. I didn't know what else to do, and felt so awful that I just could not calm Charlotte down and keep Katie happy at the same time, that I sat and held them and we all cried. I'd say for close to an hour.
I'm still not sure what Charlotte's problem was, she's been very cranky since Monday night (though today she was a little better). She wanted NO PART of any item on the Fun Circuit, not even the new Jumperoo, and Katie wasn't much happier.
When it got really bad, I had to step outside for a minute. I left my two sobbing girls and stood on the backstep and cried. I said, Jack, please help us. I hate to ask you for things but please, help us today. Help us get through this grey, rainy, terrible afternoon.
And soon after that, Katie fell asleep, and I was able to concentrate on getting Charlotte calmed and we were back to okay.
Monday morning I went to a Mass that was said for Jack at Seton Hall Prep. It was really nice, but it sort of started me on a few days of really really missing him again, thinking about him constantly, going over everything that happened.
My Jack, my boy, I miss him so much. I might have handled everything better on Tuesday afternoon if I hadn't already been feeling sort of down. When I stood on the step talking to him, the weight on my heart of him not being here was so heavy.
Then that night we got a UPS package and inside was the most amazing gift.
My sister in law had given a donation to an organization that rescues dogs. They had done a 'run' with that money in honor of Jack. In the UPS package was a beautiful photo album they sent us with pictures of the sweetest little puppy... and this is what was written inside....
"Dear Megan and PJ,
In honor of a recent donation made to our organization in loving memory of Jackson Malia we have named a puppy pulled for rescue Jackson. We hope you enjoy the following photos of the puppy Jackson taken shortly after his arrival.
Here is his story....
Little Jackson and two of his litter mates were pulled for rescue on January 12th 2007. Jackson and 21 other puppies were transported to 4 Paws Animal Hospital in Georgia. There they were vetted, fed, loved and prepared for transport to NJ.
Jackson and 17 others arrived in NJ on February 10th. They were greeted by about fifteen 11th Hour volunteers. These 17 lost souls started their new lives that day.
Jackson was by far the cutest. He was a 15 pound puffball and he was FEARLESS. Shortly after he was pulled from the transport van he started romping around with all the other dogs. He took to Mack immediately, Mack was a 75 pound Great Dane mix.
Jackson was adopted 3 hours after he arrived in New Jersey by (I won't post their name). They were touched and honored by the story of how Jackson got his name. They vowed never to change it stating "Jackson's name will live with us forever as will his memory."
Here he is.... "
I opened that album, looked at the pictures and just sobbed. Thank you Jack. You fill my heart up every day without even being here.