Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Four months

Four months old yesterday! The girls alternated in their crankiness (they're still tag teaming mom.... one cries, the other smiles, then they switch.....) so it was tough getting their monthly pictures. I never did get any of the two of them together.

They both slept in their cribs last night from 11pm until 6:30 am, which means I got to sleep in my bed!! For over 7 hours!! Like a normal person!! Of course the fire department called at 3am because there was a huge fire that went to a 3rd alarm and PJ had to go in. I cannot just get uninterrupted sleep - but at least I didn't have to go out in the cold at 3 in the morning to fight a fire.

So, let's see how the girls are doing:

Miss Charlotte
aka: Peanut Butter, Peanut, the Diva, the Pill, Dolly, SHAR-LOT
LOVES: Mommy, the exersaucer, the swing, standing up, Pinky Poodle (a stuffed toy), looking out the window, chewing on her hand, Hip Hop (no, seriously....)
DISLIKES: Being naked (too cold!), dirty diapers, tights, vibrating seats

Miss Kathleen (Katie)
Jelly, the Princess, Daddy's Girl
LOVES: Daddy, baths, eating, books, standing up, scratching Mommy, pulling hair, chewing on her fist, Hula Monkey, smiling, laughing... and more Daddy
DISLIKES: not much....

Now honestly, tell me.... do these two look identical to you? The doctors all said while I was pregnant that they were identical (except for my OB who said, how can they tell for sure?) But they have never, from day one, looked the same. I asked Jack's doctor once if it was possible they weren't identical, even though they shared a placenta, had twin-to-twin transfusion, and at my first ultrasound they only saw 2 sacs.... she said absolutely. Only a DNA test could prove for sure they're identical. When we had the IVF done, they put 3 embryos in.... it amazes me to think that maybe all 3 took. Maybe I'm more fertile than I thought.

So, seriously, small weight difference aside.... they are not identical to me. Katie looks like PJ and Charlotte looks like me. Katie looked more like Jack than she looks like Charlotte. Doctors..... what do they know??


Missing Jack a lot the last few days.... I guess I should say missing him more than usual, because I miss him a lot every day. I want Jack to be four months old, I want him to have his first Valentine's Day, I want to take his picture sitting with his bear. It's not fair.


Sommer said...

I always thought that girls were identical too. I wonder if they are now :) Only a mother knows the things no one else does! The girls are looking excellent! So cute!
And about Jack, sweet Jack, you can take it one day at a time.

Keep the pics coming.. i LOVE seeing the girls!

Jenna said...

They don't look identical to me- but that may change as they get older. But they are adorable and look so sweet and cuddly...

leona said...

Yeah!! Happy 4 months! I am so jealous that the girlslept 7 hrs for you!! They are so cute but you're right they don't look identical. My cousins are supposed to be identical twins and they don't look alike either.

Katiedid1806 said...

Ya know, the Olsen twins are supposed to be fraternal, but look very identical - so you never know! I think they look very similar, but it could just be the facial expressions. Congrats on the 4month Mark! They look wonderful.

Diana said...

No it's not fair at all. I wish Jack were a part of the pictures too.

The girls are so beautiful, he must love watching over them every day!

Ariella said...

Jack being gone will never be fair.

As for weither the girls are identical I have always thought they weren't since they were born and you posted pics. They just don't look identical.

JennyBS said...

I think they look a lot alike I have to say. Identical... I guess I could only tell if I saw them all the time or when they get a little older. Happy 4 months to your babies. I'm sure Jack is smiling down at them now.

Gillian said...

It is so funny that you asked that, because as I was looking at Charlotte's pictures (SHAR-LOT, lol!), I was thinking- Whoa! She looks like Megan! And I remember you once saying you thought the girls looked more like PJ..

I'm sure the milestones are bittersweet with out Jack here, but he IS with you.

Anonymous said...

Hi. You don't know me, and I don't know you. I came across your blog when reading a friend of mine's page. I just wanted to write and tell you that your story touched my heart. You have 3 beautiful babies. Whether Jack is here in body or not, you will always be the mother of triplets and no one can ever change that. As long as you don't forget Jack, he will always be with you. I have been blessed with 2 healthy children (thus far) and I thank God every night for such a blessing. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God bless.

Rachel said...

They are both beautiful girls but I don't think they look identical either. I agree that Katie looks more like Jack. I love the pictures. I can almost smell how sweet they are. It's not fair. Jack should be with you. I think of your family daily and pray that you will be comforted in knowing that he is still with you.

Anonymous said...

Your children are beautiful. I sat here with tears reading your story. You have a gift. Have you ever considered writing a book (with all that free time, I know)?

He's touched more lives than you could imagine. I'm sitting here halfway across the country aching for what all of you have been through. I'm praying for your healing. God bless.

Anonymous said...

OMG - 4 months! They are so big, and so not identical looking. LOL! I nearly spit out my drink when I read that charlotte likes Hip Hop. So funny. I'm sure Jack is up there smiling down on all of you.


Collins Family said...

Happy 4 months girls. It is OK to feel sad and miss Baby Jack everyday. Please know he is watching over you all and his sisters. I love the song you posted a couple weeks ago or maybe last week, every time I hear it now I think of you and your precious baby Jack. Praying for you all daily.

Anonymous said...

Hi, complete stranger here. I check your blog often because you are inspiring and a wonderful mother.

Happy four month bday Charlotte, Katie, and sweet Jack!

My own baby love is fifteen months old and I am thankful for him every day for the rest of my life.


Anonymous said...

your girls are just beautiful! and i say it all the time -- you are such a great writer, megan!

Noah&ZachsMom said...

What great photos! The girls have such beautiful eyes. I can see Jack in both of them. Hugs to you! Noah&ZachsMom (Multiples Board)

Adrienne said...

Happy 4 months Katie and Charlotte!! They are just beautiful and getting to be so big. I don't think they are identical. They look very much alike, but you can see differences in the two of them. Maybe it will be easier to decide when they get a little older??

I can only imagine how bittersweet everything is not having Jack here, but he is with you. I loved the song you posted a couple weeks ago, it's one of my favorites and now has new meaning for me. I think of you all often and hope you are doing well!

Anonymous said...

I have your beautiful blog page bookmarked and check on your family often. You are all so beautiful!

I have triplets, 2 of whom are identical. They all had separate placentas but 2 were fused. The doctors all told us that the girls were fraternal. We had the girls tested at age 2 and they turned out to be identical after all.

I would say at this age, it's hard to tell. My girls would go through phases of looking alike and then not. There was almost a pound difference between the 2 at birth and the difference in weight just increased. Plus, one of my girls had a different shaped head (probably influenced by being in the womb and on bottom - her sibs were sitting on her!). So a good way to gauge whether they are identical or not is by looking at the the shape of their ears, is it the same? How about their toes/feet? And their hands (hard to judge at this age). But for my girls their toes were a good indicator.

Personally, I think that in one of the top pictures (more serious look) and in the one toward the bottom, they look more identical to me.

I'm so sorry that you are struggling. Jack will always be with you and knows how much you love him and miss him.

Anonymous said...

Your girls are just gorgeous!
LOVE their rosy little cheeks.
One day at a time...you'll miss him forever, but someday the ache won't be so overwhelming.
Thinking of you.
--A Mom in Jacksonville, FL

Anonymous said...

....and I also meant to say, that my boy and my girl were the fused placentas AND, my identical girls have totally different eye shapes. One is more almond shaped, the other is smaller and rounder. They use different facial muscles when they are expressing themselves though. And one of my girls looks like my husband, the other looks like me we think in the eyes....and they are identical. So I can relate to that statement also.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled on your blog from a post on the nest yesterday. I've read it in entirety since and am profoundly moved by your story. Someday your girls will read this and they will know Jack through you, an incredible gift. I wish you and your family peace in knowing Jack is an angel watching down on you, your husband and his sisters.

Anonymous said...

Your girls are beautiful, you just want to reach into the picture and cudle them. I loved your story about the chaos. Once my kids dumped a whole bottle of powder out all over eachother (in less than 5 min.) You don't know if you should laugh or cry. I hate to tell you you'll have more days like that. But it's all worth it!

Mrs.LB705 said...

LOL--I always thought they looked NOT identical! But I figured, who am I to think the doctors and parents are wrong??

So maybe you've got yourselves some fraternals over there!

I wish Jack was hugging a bear on his first Valentine's Day too. I'm sure he is looking down and thinking the same thing, but at least he can keep an eye on you all.

Hope you are doing okay . . .


Linda = )

Anonymous said...

Four months, and absolutely beautiful. The girls' personalities really show through their photos! As for identical, I don't have a clue - I know my little one looks like a different kid in every photo... go figure.

I wanted to give you an update on my son Evan's toy drive (for the hospital) - he has just about reached the goal of 40 toys (one for each child)!! We actually are at 37 now, plus we have a ToysRUs gift card, so that will definitely take us to 40... and there are still a few people who told me they have something to contribute, so we may have to do a second drive in the spring.

Evan has a cold right now, but I'm hoping by next week or so we'll be able to load it all up and bring the toys to the hospital. I will take lots of pictures and will post them for you to check out. :)

PS> I sent out a blanket email to all family and friends requesting toy donations. Completely forgot that my husband's aunt (my longtime friend, which is how my husband and I met, but that is another story...) works for our cousins' company, a kid's furniture co. I opened the door one day last week to two HUGE boxes dropped off from UPS. She shipped us a fabulous dollhouse set AND a fire house set to donate to the hospital playroom!! I almost fell over.

I'll definitely have photos for you soon...

We are all, always, thinking of Jack.

-- Jennifer

Anonymous said...

I don't know you personally. I stumbled across your blog from another blog. I just have to say your girls are beautiful! I have 3 children and I have also lost 2. I lost them early on in my pregnancies but it still hurt. I also have a friend who delivered a son that one hour after birth passed away. I could not imagine that kind of heartache. I just want to say take it one day at a time, that's all you can do. Though it will always be a tragedy, in time you will be at peace. Instead of Jack being the baby brother he gets to be the big protective brother looking out for his sisters from the best possible seat. I pray your girls are healthy, that Jack is at peace, and that you and your husband just take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to get mad. It helps sometimes!

Lotta said...

Their expressions in those last two photos are hysterical! Beautiful girls in cozy sweats with badass expressions. Love it!

amber said...

what adorable little girls! and i love seeing how their little faces and cheeks have filled out so much. :)

also, just wanted to let you know that while i usually lurk, i gave you a special nod on my blog. as i wrote there, you and the whole family have been on my mind and in my prayers for months now. and i thought you more than deserved this special nod.

Miracles said...

Your girl's are just adorable and to me look a-like, but not identical. I get the same thing all the time with my girl's from people. Even though one has blue eyes and the other has brown, they still argue with me.

Congrats on the sleep. I remember those days like it was yesterday.

pam said...

they don't look identical to me, but who the heck knows? in any case, they're just gorgeous and sweet and smiley and cuddly. give them hugs and kisses from us!

Todd and Kristin said...

I've always thought from pics that Katie looked like Daddy and Charlotte like you! And I've always thought of Jack as the perfect blend of all four of you. Such a beautiful family!

Patyrish said...

I AGREE Katie looks SO MUCH like Jack to me. Really she does. I had to laugh that Charlotte loves Hip Hop...Makily does too and it kind of freaks me out!

I too wish you had pictures of Jack on his first Valentine's day...with his bear. Life is terribly unfair sometimes. ((((hug)))

Emily Heizer said...

I really doubt you will ever see this (if you do send a comment back to my blog so I know!) but I wanted to share my perspective.

For five years I worked as a nanny, almost EXCLUSIVELY with identical twin girls. All of them. One two sets weren't identical, one B/G set, and then a set of fraternal girls. (There are alot o G/G twins out there!)

Anyway, I am very used to looking at those "identical" faces and from my opinion, of spending that much time, with that many sets of identicals- I see no way how your girls are NOT identical. Of course, it is possible, siblings can look alike, HOWEVER your girls look too much alike to be fraternal.

The medical society sort of frowns upon the term "identical" in describing twins to begin with. They should be called monozygotic twins because they came from the same egg, however, depending on when the egg split (how late or early)there can be minor physical traits and personal preferences which are not at all the same between them. "Identical" is not a good term to describe mono twins- because they aren't precisely identical. You can actually have "identical" (monozygotic) boy/girl twins. The first time I heard that I thought it was bunk- until I got the information. National Geographic I think did the series called "In the womb" with a 2 hour or so special on multiples, and they cover the topic. Essentially you have a defective sperm which carries XXY instead of XY or XX. (XX=girl, XY=boy, i'm sure you know that, but just in case. lol) Anyway, the egg can split unevenly, with one embryo ending up an XX and the other an XY, hence, "identical" boy girl twins. They look an awful lot alike, but since they are different sexes you certainly can't say they look "identical" to a T. Hence, the medical society's prefernce of the term monozygotic twins.

Anyway, I'm sure this is totally boring and maybe you have already figured all of this out by now, but I just had to put my two cents in here. Based on what I know about identicals, and personal observations of the actual phsysical differences between mono twins that I have watched grow up- I believe to the core of my soul your girls are identical.

Another note, all of "my" girls stopped looking alike to me too. Very quickly. You know they are identical, but you look at them and all you see are the differences. There is no hestiation whatsoever in regards to who is who. And that is just because YOU KNOW THEM. You know them the best, you're used to looking at their faces, you know every inch of their body. And that's true of anyone who spends a significant amount of time with them.

I"ll bet $20 on the fact they are identical.

Ok, enough praddling on. I'll hush up now. As if any of this matters, but I just had to say something! lol