Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I used to be mildly interesting, sort of funny, kind of entertaining. Reasonably intelligent and pretty fun. A real person, a whole different person. I hope when Jack is better, I will find my happiness again, and find my 'me' again. Some days it feels like it can never come back.

Jack is pretty much the same. His lungs look a little better today. He has a terrible eye infection. They're giving him lasiks again to try and dry out his lungs a little (and help with his swelling). The settings on the vent go down, then up again. He has a good day, then he has a bad day. It's like some horrible horrible version of Groundhog's Day.

I visited him Sunday, PJ was there Monday and Tuesday, now no one is there until Friday. It was a hard decision and part of me feels bad, but for our own mental health I said we needed to spend Thanksgiving with our families, with the girls. Not sitting at Jack's bedside, staring at him. It doesn't feel like Thanksgiving at all though - people kept wishing me a happy holiday today and I would have to take a minute to remember what holiday they even meant.

So we will go back to Philly on Friday to Saturday and see our boy. Next week should hopefully bring some kind of answers.

I had my 6 week postpartum appointment this morning. It's like, this pregnancy is officially over now. Which makes me sad. I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body is not the same. Things have moved, shifted and especially drooped. At least my jeans fit though.

Like I said, PJ was in Philly Monday and Tuesday. He kept sending pics of Jack to my cell phone, all nice and cute, like this one:

So sweet. Monday night my mom and aunt came over to watch the girls so I could go to the supermarket (whoopie a big trip out for me). As I was leaving the store I got a message from PJ, with pictures that looked like THIS:

with no text... just the pictures. Pardon my french, but WHAT THE HOLY HELL is on my baby's head? What happened to him??? I had a panic attack thinking something terrible had happened.....they'd had to do emergency brain surgery or something on him. I rushed home and my mom said "PJ called." OK, what did he say?? "Oh, not much, he said his hotel is really nice and he'll call you later."

Seriously??? That's what he said? Nothing else?

After a few frantic phone calls I finally got him on the phone, and he told me they're just doing another EEG on Jack to double check for seizures (and it came out clear, no seizures.)

That is a textbook example of how to send an already unstable mother over the edge. Men. I swear to god. I told him, please, next time... don't send me any pictures.

Anyway...... Have a nice Thanksgiving everyone. Here's pics of my two little butterballs:

Look at those cheeks... gobble gobble!! They are what's keeping us sane (well, kind of sane). Charlotte's on the left, Katie's on the right. The last one cracks me up.... Katie looks like Charlotte is about to knock her upside the head with a frying pan or something!!


The Hyperfertile Infertile said...

I wish you had better news about Jack, but we're still praying for him and thinking of you all.

The girls are getting so big, I can't believe it!

And, wow on already losing all the weight. You give me hope.

CRS said...


You're all in my prayers. The girls look great and I hope Jack turns around!


Liz said...

I know that you will miss Jack a lot over the next couple of days, but he is in good hands & you guys deserve a few days together in one place with the girls.

Can I come over next Wednesday or Thursday after work?

I'm thinking about you guys all the time. XOXO

Anonymous said...

I am sorry Megan. I am thinking and praying for you all.

-Kathleen aka Mrs.Scher

Gillian said...

Wow.. I would have had a fit too! I'm glad Jack is alright though and continuing to forge onward.. continued prayers and hugs.. lastly, the girls are growing and changing so much.. they REALLY are beginning to look like identical twins to me. I know that sounds stupid, but they looked different before, and now they're really starting to resemble each other!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving! Even through all of this, there is SO much to be thankful for!

Anonymous said...

Megan - Thinking about you and Jack often! And sending extra prayers to God for him! I hope you find him stronger when you see him on Friday!
- Kristin

Anonymous said...

You are in my thoughts as you go through this. I am praying that Jack is home with his 2 sisters for Christmas and that you all continue on to have a New Year that brings continued health and happiness.

Anonymous said...

Sending you big hugs. Jack is always in our prayers and thoughts. Your girls are so cute. God Bless to both of you and enjoy your thanksgiving with your families.

nicole (mikeandnicole05)

Anonymous said...

Megan continued prayers heading to Jack. Hoping that soon he will be home with his siters and family. Hugs! The girls looks adorable.

Anonymous said...

Megan - I think about Jack and your whole family everyday. You are all in my prayers. I can only imagine how hard it is to be away from Jack right now but rest assured he's being taken care of.


PS - Congrats on fitting into your jeans again! Woohoo!

Anonymous said...

Megan, Jack is so adorable. I hope he's better soon. It sounds like he's in good hands! The girls look great too.

B and I are thinking of you- try to have a happy thanksgiving and enjoy your time with those beautiful girls.

Tara (TSD)

Anonymous said...


All your babies are so cute!!

You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you get some answers and that Jack can come home soon.

Michelle (aka Finally)

pam said...

the girls look wonderful and i am keeping jack in my thoughts that he turns a corner soon. i hope you can enjoy today a little bit.

congrats on the weight loss and take care of yourself!

Anonymous said...

Megan I can't even begin to know what you are going through right now but Jack is in great hands and you will be with him soon. Take care of yourself.
- Leigh Ann (LeighAnn&Vinny)

Anonymous said...

I just showed MH your babies' pictures and he said they were so freaking cute!!! hehe:)

Kathleen (Mrs.Scher)

Anonymous said...

I just read your story i am praying for your SON!! I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.