Saturday, October 20, 2007

Hopefully....

So yesterday was kind of rough. Thank you to everyone who left a comment or sent an email, it really did help. Especially hearing about other babies who struggled in the NICU and are now fine.

This morning didn't start out much better. PJ is back at work at the firehouse today, so my mom took me to see the babies. As soon as I walked in, I saw that Katie was back in her isolette. She wasn't able to maintain her temperature in the open crib last night. But, it's okay. I didn't get upset. It's not a big deal - she's still small (the nurses yesterday were WRONG, Katie isn't over 4 lbs, she's 3lbs 14oz). I don't want to push her. They'll try again.

Both girls were sweet and happy, as usual. Charlotte ate her food in literally 3 minutes, burped like a champ, and then looked for more. She is such a cutie. So little but loves to eat!


Mommy & Charlotte. Blurry because Grandma doesn't know how to use a camera. :)

Then we went to see Jack. He had a new nurse today, who was amazing. She told us so many things about him and what's going on that no one else had told us. A lot of it was not that encouraging, but it was honest and as much as it was hard to hear, it's good to know. Bottom line is, he will get there.... but it might take awhile. She didn't have much hope for the medicine closing his heart murmur, for one.

My mom asked when I could hold him - she said it's not the vent preventing him from being held, it's the radial line in his arm (a line that goes into a large arterial vein they use to check his blood gases). She said it's too dangerous to move him with it in... but she also said that she thought it would come out soon, since he wasn't using oxygen anymore. She did let me give him a little massage though, and rub lotion on his legs and feet, and change his little diaper.

She confirmed the thing that bothers me the most - that since he's not a really tiny preemie, he knows what's going on... he's uncomfortable, and irritable, and just wants to be swaddled and held. That killed me. I told my mom, it's not that I don't think he'll be okay that's upsetting me, it's the fact that he's suffering right now.

I came home feeling upset about a lot of it. Bawled some more.

When we went back at 5pm, we fed the girls first because little Charlotte was already wide awake and looking for food. Held the girls awhile and then went to see Jack.

And when we walked in, his nurse said, where have you been?? Look!!



He was on his tummy. For the first time in his life. She even made him a little cushy mattress to lay on. She had called the head of the NICU and asked if the radial line could come out of his arm, and he said absolutely. So it was out!! And he was able to be all cozy on his tummy.


Yay!! So much happier!

I can't even put into words how happy I was, to see him like that, not spread eagle on his back, wiggling around with a huge line in his right arm.

And tomorrow, if he has a good day and is doing well, I can HOLD HIM. I really was starting to feel like no one was listening. Like my prayers, I don't know... maybe I had used too many up this year. But they were answered, in their own way. No, he's not really any better. But he's more comfortable, and I will get to hold him, hopefully tomorrow. That will make it the best day EVER.

14 comments:

Este Loko said...

delirios de este loko

The Hyperfertile Infertile said...

First of all, WHERE did your tummy go? You look amazing. Holy cow!!

Secondly, look at little Jack all comfy and cozy! My babies always slept on their tummies (quick, someone call CPS) and loved it. I'll bet he is so much comfier. And, whether he is doing that much better, he just looks so content in those pics!

Enjoy holding him... I know you will. What a great thing to look forward to tomorrow!

Robin/whirlygal from the nest said...

Hi Megan.
I know you are so busy with the babies and recovery right now. I just was catching up on your blog. I know it will be a long slow road for your family. I am thinking of you and all 3 babies. It sounds like you have lots of people around you helping out, and thats great!
I know we have never met, and this might be a little weird. But if you ever need anything- a ride to the hospital or someone to keep you company, I am home. I have been on leave for a few months, and most days just twiddle my thumbs. Please drop me a line, rogross12@yahoo.com

Robin/whirlygal from the nest
ps...Congrats!

Anonymous said...

Wow Megan....Your little ones are making gains! Good to hear the girls are eating and growing like champs. It will take time, but in no time they will all be home with you. If you need anything or have any questions don't hesitate to drop me a line. pigglet46@yahoo.com

Some nurses are great and others are not as comfortable speaking to parents. If you have any questions let me know. Being a peds nurse I may be able to help answer.

Good luck and I hope you can Hold your little man tomorrow. Mommys touch is the best!!

Amy/zorahangels from the nest

MC said...

I am also happy to try to answer any questions you have. One thing...if they put Jack back on his back, see if they can build some bumpers around him with blankets to keep him a little more contained (almost like a nest). This will help him be more comfortable than if he were spread-eagled. We do that for all of our babies, even the tiny preemies because all preemies can feel pain and discomfort, no matter how premature they are. The pain receptors actually develop pretty early in utero.

Looks like he is feeling better...and good, comfortable rest will do wonders to help him grow strong!

April (sapphirePrincess from the nest) said...

I know we have never met but I have been reading your blog all along. You and your family are in my prayers and I just know deep down that those beautiful little babies will be home keeping you up all night soon! Congrats again!

Anonymous said...

Megan --

I'm so glad to see that Jack is on his belly!! Baby steps, baby steps - and he'll be with his sisters soon!!! Hang in there and continue to be the great mommy that you are!!!
- Kristin

Anonymous said...

I wanted to let you know that you and your family is in our thoughts and prayers. C,K, and J look so strong and I know they will pull through like champs. Try and stay strong, we are all here behind to lift you up when you need it.

pam said...

you do look great! wow!

i'm so happy little jack is cozy on his tummy. i have to say, i'm envious that he gets to! i want to lay on my tummy too! :)

yay for tomorrow and getting to hold your son. :)

turtle520 said...

Megan, I am so happy for you and Pj, and Jack! I can't even imagine what it must be like to not be able to hold your baby, and I am so thankfull that hopefully tomorrow you will get to hold him.
My thoughts are with all of you, Charlotte, Katie, Jack, You and PJ!
Best wishes!

Carly said...

Hey Megan- this is your fellow C-town girl from the nest... I just wanted you to know you PJ, charlotte, katie, and especially Jack are in our prayers- you are an inspiration to me and your little ones are just beautiful. Tons of thoughts of strength to you and PJ- I am sure you will get to hold Jack soon and I truly cannot wait to hear about it
`CARLY

momofdom said...

Megan, you are so lucky you are nice because I might hate you for looking so fantastic 10 days after having triplets! Lucky girl...

Sending vibes and prayers your way. I know it's probably so tough to look at Jack like that, but from what I remember seeing in the NICU, I think he looks fabulous too. He's going to be ok in the end, it's just going to take some time. This time next year when your three little babes are having a birthday these days will all be a distant memory.
~~jenga~~

Leah said...

Yayy! I was waiting to hear good news! I'm glad to hear that Jack is improving.

Hopefully they will all stay on this road to home!! :-) Can't wait to hear more great news!

Gillian (GilliMax) from the Nest said...

aww Megan! So nice to catch up on your blog and read how the babies are coming along. And LOOK at Jack on his tummy!! I know I'M a much happier person when I can sleep on my tummy, so I bet this will start to make things happen for him..

You look fantastic! Keep up the great work, Mom..