Yesterday was the Golf Outing for the Jackson Malia Fund, and it went really well. I’m going to be honest here and say that my heart hasn’t been in it recently, the Fund. I don’t even know how to describe it precisely, but i went through quite a few months where i felt like I needed to stop. That it was too hard for me, for lots of reasons. I always feel like I’m not doing enough, and there is definitely always MORE that could be done. And I just didn’t need anything else to make me feel badly when it came to Jack.
But when it really came down to it, i didn’t want the Fund to end. It is all I have left of Jack.
Now, I do feel like my heart is back in it, and i hope as time goes on it will get even bigger and better.
For the last week I have obsessively checked the weather forecast, and it consistently called for rain yesterday. It rained Monday and Tuesday. And then yesterday morning, even as I was standing in my kitchen watching the weatherman on tv say it was going to be overcast and rainy, the sun was starting to peep through the clouds. There was no rain. It was cold, and the clouds came and went, but so did the sunshine. It’s been like that all three years on the day of the Golf Outing. Sun fighting to come through the clouds. Jack working hard to shine down on his day.