The Jackson Malia Fund's golf tournament is rapidly approaching. Please, check out his site if you're at all interested in our raffle - we have some great prizes this year. And we really need to sell some tickets!! LOL
I love having this charity because it keeps Jack 'alive' for me in a way. Especially this time of year when I find myself really having to spend some time working on it, I get to talk about Jack so much, think about him. See his picture. Remember him. Remember those three months. And I love it.
And I hate it.
It feels a little bit like it pulls the scab off the wound. It takes it all a little further out of my subconscious, more into my every day, every moment thoughts. It makes the ache stronger, the tears come quicker. It makes me daydream the 'what ifs?'
It makes me remember, and takes me back there.
I love having this charity, and I love what it does. But I miss Jack. I wish he wasn't a fund, or a charity, or a golf tournament, or a raffle.
I wish he was a happy, giggly, crazy two year old boy.
I just miss my Jack.